As you probably know, this past Thanksgiving was mine and Blaine's first Thanksgiving as a married couple. Accordingly, it was the first time I have had the opportunity to bring a dish from another location to my parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner. Blaine and I said we'd bring a broccoli salad and some sort of appetizer.
If you know Blaine and I well, then you probably know that we have unofficial "jobs" in the house. Blaine does all things kitchen (cooking and cleaning), garbage and yard; whereas, I am in charge of finances, laundry, scheduling and general maintenance. So the day before Thanksgiving, while Blaine was hunting, I decided to go ahead and start making the broccoli salad before he got home...to surprise him...and so he wouldn't have to do it. This particular broccoli salad calls for bacon, so of course, I had to cook it.
Now let me just say, the reason I don't cook is not because I am particularly bad at it (although you may come to another conclusion after reading this), or because I don't enjoy cooking. I don't do the cooking in our house for a few reasons:
- Blaine is much better at it--if we had 3 of the most random ingredients in our pantry, then Blaine could put them together somehow to make a wonderful meal;
- I will start with one pot, pan or bowl, and then realize it isn't big enough for what I am making, and then I will get a larger dish, and ultimately, I will end up using almost all of the dishes we own; and
- whenever I do start to cook something and Blaine is home, he will take over anyway because he either thinks I'm not doing it correctly, he knows a better way, or what I am doing looks dangerous;
Back to the story....When Blaine walked in the door from hunting he was delighed to smell something cooking; but much to his dismay, I was not cooking him dinner. So I offered to make him some soup and a grilled cheese while he took a shower. Three burners going at one time proved to be too much for me to handle...a few minutes after Blaine left the room, the sound of sizzling bacon was replaced with the sound of our blaring smoke alarm. The next sound I heard was Blaine yelling from the next room for me to "turn it off." I grabbed a bar stool to stand on so that I could reach the off button on the alarm. I needed to get back to my bacon, soup and sandwich, which were producing smoke, so I put my feet on the stool and shot up like a rocket. As soon as I shot up I was shot back down when my head met the door-frame. Now, imagine how fast I was going when my head collided with that wooden door frame...I bit my tongue and about fell off of the stool, while Blaine continued to yell for me to turn off the alarm. What happened next is a blur (not really), but tears filled up in my eyes almost instantaneously, like a reflex (embarrassing, I know...I'm really not such a wuss...but it HURT my head and my pride). I was seeing stars and smoke. Blaine was still yelling from the shower, the alarm was still blaring, and the bacon was still sizzling. I got back up onto the stool, looking up to make sure I didn't hit my head again, and turned off the alarm. The events that transpired next aren't important; but this is: now whenever I smell bacon (which used to be one of my favorite food groups) my mind goes back to this fateful incident. Ok, I'm kidding, but I no longer refer to this dish as "broccoli salad;" it is now called "death salad." Imagine if I was supposed to prepare an entire Thanksgiving meal....yikes! Needless to say, the Richardsons weren't even commissioned to prepare a single dish for Christmas dinner (although, Blaine made one anyway).
For those of you who are brave enough to try this dish at home, I will provide the recipe; it really is good, despite its new name:
Carrot Broccoli Salad (aka: Death Salad)
6 medium carrots, shredded
1 small bunch broccoli, chopped
1 cup raisins
1 small onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
2/3 to 1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground mustard
1/2 lb. sliced bacon cooked and crumbled
In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients. In another bowl, combine the maynnaise, sugar and mustard. Add to vegetable mixture and gently stir to coat. Cover and refrigerate. Stir in bacon just before serving. (I did this part wrong and added the bacon with the vegetable mixture, so it, too, was coated with the mayo, sugar, mustard mixture. When my mom made this before she did it the correct way; but I liked mine better. If you like syrup on your bacon, then my way is the way to go.)
